It seems September 20th has somehow crept up on me yet again. A year ago today I started this whole blogging venture, not really sure why I was doing so. As evidenced by its obvious lack of use, I still don’t really know why I have a blog. However, seeing as how today marks my third year since entering the MTC (the realization of which sparked my bout of introspection last year), it seems as good a time as any to hop back on the introspection train and think a bit about what I’ve learned in the past year.
I’m pretty sure that this time last year I was still thinking of my life in terms of six week transfers. I’ve stopped doing that, but I’ve maintained an unhealthy overdependence on my planner. Well, it’s not really as bad as that, but I am grateful for the organizational and scheduling skills I learned on my mission. I haven’t always put them to good use, but that too has changed recently, the details of which I’ll divulge later.
In the past year I’ve gone from being the teacher back to being the student. In case you missed the memo, last fall I taught 10th grade science for 6 months while living with my brother’s family in Georgia. Now I’m back in school, working on my M.S. in physics at BYU. Being the student again has been a bit of a shock to my system after having been gone for 3+ years. There’s a lot of physics I simply don’t remember, and I’ve finally reconciled myself to the idea that it may take me more than 2 years to finish my Masters, since I will probably spend most of this first year trying to get caught up. It’s been a humbling experience, but I suppose that’s probably not a bad thing. And in spite of the fact that graduate school has largely taken over my life (I spend, on average, probably 10 or more hours a day in the science building on campus), I am grateful to be here, and I fully intend to make the most of it.
Among the more important lessons I’ve learned this year, the whole idea of “making the most” of our lives and our experiences ranks pretty high. It was a principle I mastered pretty well on my mission; if I can say anything about my mission, it’s that I worked as hard as I could, did my best, and have few, if any, regrets. I made the most of my time, right up until they told me to take off my tag…and then some. Some of my most treasured memories from my mission are a direct result of living this principle; maybe at some point I’ll share a few of them. But I digress. I guess the point is this: I didn’t want to serve a normal mission -- I wanted to serve an extraordinary one. And I don’t want to settle for a normal life; I want to live an extraordinary one.
The unfortunate truth, however, is that my life has been more normal than extraordinary for the better part of the year. Somewhere along the way I unconsciously decided making “something” out of my time and experiences was acceptable, rather than striving to make the most out of them. And while the experiences that have brought about this realization have been altogether unpleasant and painful, the course correction itself has been relatively easy, thanks to the aforementioned organizational and goal setting skills learned on my mission. I’m finally back where I need to be, where I can be an instrument in the Lord’s hands, where I can do and be what He needs me to be. And that’s really all I want out of life.
I know, that wasn’t much of a year in review, and I apologize. I’ll do better in the future, or at least I’ll make the effort. I feel like there’s a lot I still haven’t said that I would like to, but I guess that will just have to wait. After all, I do have a schedule to keep.
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