Seeds

This weekend Sister Kristen Oaks, wife of Elder Dallin H. Oaks, addressed the women of our stake. First, let me just say that I cannot say enough good things about this woman! She's so very real. She was so honest about her challenges and struggles, many of which are the very same challenges and struggles we, as a body of single women living in Provo, face. It was refreshing to hear the counsel and testimony of someone who really knows. Second, I have pages and pages of notes from this weekend. I'm not even going to try to pretend that what I write here is a fair representation of everything that I learned. That being said, I would love to share everything that I learned, so feel free to ask me about it sometime!

Several months ago I attended my home ward in New Jersey. A talk was given in sacrament meeting, and I'm not sure I could tell you exactly what it was about. I just remember that the speaker used the word "seed". The word was in no way central to his message, but as soon as I heard it, a phrase came into my mind, distinct and clear:  "make grow the seeds that you have been given."

Make grow the seeds you have been given. I've thought a lot about this phrase since that day. And there is a quote by Elder Holland that Sister Oaks shared this weekend that embodies my understanding of what it means to "make grow the seeds that I have been given." Elder Holland says:

"God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future -- to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities."

To love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities. Opportunities  for true joy and genuine happiness abound. I think sometimes I get so focused on what I want and wanting it right now that I do not recognize the opportunities all around me. It's as if the Lord has given me tomato seeds when I was hoping for roses. And so I go through life, continually disappointed when my tomato seeds don't magically produce roses, or, worse yet, rejecting the tomato seeds altogether because I already know that they won't give me the roses that I want.

Elder Holland goes on to say that "God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams." Elder Hugh B. Brown gave us the parable of the current bush, and taught us that God truly is the Master Gardener. Ultimately the Lord wants us all to have the beautiful gardens of which we dream; He wants us to cultivate and grow every good seed. But it is He, not I, that is the Master Gardner. He knows the season of my life and condition of my heart and He knows what seeds to plant and when, such that they will grow and "bring forth good fruit." A seed planted in the wrong season or under the wrong conditions will not bring forth the desired fruit.

I tend to wax metaphorical. So what do seeds and tomatoes and roses and seasons have to do with my life? Well, I've come to realize that I am continually looking for the "Marriage and Family" seed. It is my rose plant, that seed that I want more than anything else. But one of the things that Sister Oaks said is that if we are living our lives righteously and doing everything we can and we still don't have that most wonderful of blessings, it is because there is a purpose in our being where we are. In the language of our garden metaphor, it is because the season is better suited to growing some other seed of opportunity: education, friendship, service, etc. Or perhaps it is because the soil conditions just aren't quite right yet, and the Lord needs time to prepare it (us!) for the growing season. Whatever the reason, we cannot lose sight of the beautiful garden -- the wonderful blessings -- that the Lord is preparing us for. But in the meantime, we should not believe that He intends for it to just to be a rose garden. Rather, we should make grow the seeds that we have been given, and find joy in those opportunities. And when the rose seed finally comes --and it will  because He promised it would -- the gardens of our lives will already be filled with the fruits of joy and beauty that we have cultivated.